What's In An Insecurity?
by LadyxB
Summary: Shortly after ROTJ, Han and Leia are settling in as a couple. Leia's taken aback when she sees, in person, how Han Solo affects other women. One-shot.  '


Leia did not like the sight in front of her. She had played a pivotal role-and won-in the fight against the Empire. She was a princess of a lost planet, a leader among the rebellion, a strong and confident young woman. But this stumped her. She felt out of her element. Things had been so smooth, so seamless that she never doubted it. Until now.

Standing in the middle of the fleet, looking across with hands on her hips, she saw the familiar figures of the looming Millennium Falcon and its captain, Han Solo, standing under it. He was fixing the underbelly of the ship. Gods knows what was wrong with it this time. He was joined, not by his usual partner in crime-Chewbacca- but a young female who Leia did not recognize.

She had a sinking feeling bubbling up in her stomach, which she refused to mark as jealousy. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to them.

The pair was deep in their work, only speaking in pilot's lingo that Leia was familiar with, but did not understand in the current situation. They were close, but not too much so that it would be uncomfortable or unnecessary. Leia just didn't like the woman's presence.

Han and the unidentified woman did not notice her and kept working. Leia took the moment to examine the woman closer. She was chagrined to admit that the woman was actually quite pretty-light brown hair with golden streaks running through it, pulled high into a ponytail that rested on top of her head, a simple white tee-shirt now covered in grease, and a pair of grey cargo pants that fit her better than fashion should have allowed.

Han worked with ease, glee evident in his features as he worked on his beloved ship, finally having the free leisure time to do whatever he wanted. Leia smiled, watching him work. She frowned when the woman handed him a tool and he smiled at her as he took it.

Instead of grabbing the tool and hitting the woman over the head with it-_hard_- like she wanted to, Leia put on her most diplomatic face, cleared her throat, and smiled at the two of them. The woman turned around first, looking a little shell-shocked to be coming face to face with the princess. Making eye contact, Leia felt bad for her violent thoughts, but when Han turned around and the woman looked at him and smiled, her guilt lessened drastically.

Han's face brightened a considerable amount when he turned and saw Leia. He tossed the tools he had been holding to the ground, pulled Leia to him, and kissed her. Pulling away after a few seconds longer than she normally would have allowed in public, Leia blushed and tried to rub the grease off that Han had transferred to her. She swatted his shoulder playfully and laughed.

Han smiled down at her. "I take it you got off work early, or is this just a visit?"

"I left early."

His smile widened. He opened his mouth to say something in response, but remembered the woman standing next to him.

"Oh, right. Leia, this is Lindsay. Lindsay, Leia."

Lindsay smiled at Leia, in an almost challenging way and stuck her hand out. "Princess, it's an honor to meet you. Han has told me so much about you."

Leia matched her with a fake smile plastered on her face, stepped back into Han's embrace, and put her arm around his waist. "It's nice to meet you as well. Unfortunately, Han hasn't mentioned you before. How do you know each other?"

Lindsay's smile faltered, but she recovered quickly. "We uh, actually just met earlier today at a pilot's briefing. They paired us up because Chewbacca left and Han needed help fixing the Falcon. They thought I could use the experience."

She gave Han a wide smile who just shrugged his shoulders in response.

Leia squeezed his waist a little harder and said, "Yes well, _Chewie_ will be back soon enough. He's only on an extended vacation visiting his family. You'll have to enjoy the experience while it lasts."

The women smiled a little too brightly at each other for a few seconds in silence. Han looked between them, confused, but then his eyes lit up in understanding.

He was having a difficult time trying to hide his smirk as he said, "Uh alright, well I think we did a pretty good job on it for the day. We're gonna head out." He grabbed Leia's hand. "But uh, thanks for your help today. You're a good mechanic. One day I'm gonna have to see how your pilot skills match up."

Lindsay looked disappointed. "Are you sure we're done? There's so much more that we can get done tonight. Maybe you can just meet the princess at home?"

She was looking up at him with such feigned sweetness and innocence, Leia almost gagged. She swallowed a frown and tried not to glare.

Speaking with as much calm and politeness as possible, she said, "Would you like that, Han? I know you don't get as much time with your ship as you like and I don't want to take that away from you."

It hadn't been easy to say and for the brief seconds it took her to get it out, she was screaming in her head for him not to take the offer. It wasn't just that she didn't want to leave him to spend more time with Lindsay, she actually had left work early so they could do something special to kick off their long weekend at home, alone. Lindsay happened to be the one in the way this time.

It wasn't even that anything would happen, Han would never hurt her like that. But she didn't have to like it. She knew he had a volatile history when it came to women, and she didn't fault him for it, but spending so much time in the rebellion where there was a lack of suitors, and then starting their relationship, she hadn't really seen other women around him firsthand.

The woman even genuinely matched his affinity for ships and flying. Leia felt a moment of panic as she wondered if Lindsay was someone Han was better matched with. Nowhere near politics, fancy functions, or intense media scrutiny, it would be just him and her and their ship.

Leia's heart was racing and she thought her throat might be constricting because it was becoming difficult to breathe, but Han just smirked at her.

"Nah, I'm whipped. Besides, I think you have a much better idea of how to kick off this weekend." He ended with a wink.

Leia blushed deep red, but relief immediately poured through her. She was being stupid and insecure and she had no reason to be. Being the clean public figure she was, Leia sent him a chastising look, but made a mental promise to reward him for it later.

Shaking her head at Han, she looked back at Lindsay and gave a half-hearted apologetic look. "I guess the two of you will have to finish later. Or not. It's going to be a long weekend and Chewie will be back by the time Han can get anywhere near the ship."

Lindsay did not look happy. "I-well, I guess I can't compete with that." The look she gave him, however, said the complete opposite. Leia almost hit her. "But hopefully I'll see you around _real_ soon."

She slid her hand down the arm Leia wasn't holding, then sauntered away. Leia looked irate and Han felt a little guilty. He hadn't even thought that Lindsay might have found him attractive, it was all about the ship for him, but when he saw how Leia was reacting, he thought it was too good an opportunity to pass up completely. He had never seen her jealous before and he couldn't deny that he liked it. At least a little.

But now he was afraid that with the source of her anger gone, she might turn the tables on another outlet—him.

Han looked down at her and smiled. He kissed the top of her head then asked, "Uh, sweetheart, did you need anything from the Falcon before we head out?"

Leia had still been looking off into the distance, lost in thought, but his words shook her out of it. "Hm? No, I don't think so. I can always send Threepio out to get something anyways. Ready to go home?"

She took his arm and began to walk towards the exit of the hangar, so Han followed her lead and put his arm around her shoulder.

They walked in comfortable silence. Han trying to think of some way that might ease Leia's troubled expression, and Leia still battling her newfound insecurities.

_What if she could compete?_ Leia was new at this and the woman just _seemed_ to know what she was doing.

_No, no. It didn't matter. She and Han were in love. Sometimes it didn't matter how opposite two people might be, it just worked._

Leia didn't want this to ruin their weekend, but every time she would convince herself that everything was fine, doubt would seep back in.

They were continuing their walk back to their shared apartment.

_We share an apartment. Well, not officially but he never moved anywhere else_.

It was a nice, short walk. When picking the apartment, Leia was sure to choose something close to the hangar so Han could visit the Falcon on a regular basis. It was fairly close to Alliance headquarters as well, where both of them worked for the majority of the time. Leia hadn't exactly slowed down in her position with the Alliance, but she made a promise to herself and Han that she intended to keep, that when things were even slightly less new and more settled, she would take a lessened role in the government. It was what she wanted, and even though Han loved her enough to tell her she didn't have to do that, she knew he was also relieved.

_He hates politics. All those parties I drag him to. All the disparaging remarks and condescending questions he gets just because he's with me. He's bound to get sick of it sooner rather than later._

Her stomach dropped.

In-between the mountains of paperwork and endless questions she worked through throughout the day, Leia's other main duties included flying across the galaxy looking to improve ways of life that the Empire had left in destruction. She was supposed to just go planet to planet as a sort of goodwill ambassador to soothe attitudes and minds while other people would actively participate in the cleaning up. But more often than not, Leia would join in, maybe because she could never do so for Alderaan, maybe because she was just that type of person.

And she and Han were fortunate in that while as a general, he was more or less head of new recruits and training, he also acted as her personal pilot. Although she didn't much care for the title because it didn't give him enough credit, Han never complained and they were able to be together much more frequently than she initially anticipated.

_He's going to get sick of being grounded or having to just fly my butt all around the galaxy. The pilot's life is in his blood. He's not just going to want to settle down in Coruscant of all places._

She looked up at Han, but he was looking far ahead, deep in concentration.

_That's not good._

Her hours were also not as awful as she thought they might be. Sure, there were some nights when she'd come home to find Threepio locked up in a closet or turned off seemingly in mid-speech, with Han sprawled out sleeping across the couch or their bed, but for the most part, they had dinner with each other every night, had a usual nightly routine, breakfast in the morning, then lunch in the afternoon when either of them could find time to eat.

_Han Solo domesticated? How long will that last?_

She groaned inside.

_But that's not giving him enough credit. He's never complained. And he seems happy. Much more relaxed than he ever was when we were in the middle of the war. So am I._

Leia looked back up at him to see he was frowning.

_Sith shit_.

She banished her thoughts and tried to fill her mind with catchy old songs. It was a battle between random lyrics and self-doubt thoughts as they continued to walk in silence. They were getting closer to home and Leia knew she had to settle this. She just didn't know how to bring it up.

_What if saying it out loud sparks something in him?_

"Uh, Leia?"

She almost jumped in fright, but when she spoke, she answered in a cool, calm voice.

"Yes, Han?"

"Is everything ok? You're awfully quiet."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm fine. It's just been a long week."

Han nodded but didn't look satisfied with her answer. She looked away sheepishly. She wanted to at least wait until they were inside so they could have some privacy. The last thing they needed was for some nosey tabloid reporter to overhear. Next thing she'd know, it would be all over the news.

_Bet Lindsay would just love that. Jump at the chance_.

"Leia are you sure you're ok?"

_I'm fine, Han, I'm just arguing with myself._

They walked up the sidewalk to the apartment building. He held the door for her and she looked back slightly at him as she stepped through.

"I-well, I am ok, it's just that-"

"Just that what?"

Leia shook her head.

"Sweetheart-and I don't mean to offend you when I say this, it's just how you are and I love you for it, but, uh, but, you're never usually this quiet. I mean, on our walks home you're usually rambling on and on about what happened that day or what might happen tomorrow. Something ridiculous one of the higher-ups said and how you just had to sit there and bite your tongue."

"Rambling?"

"That's not what you were supposed to take from that."

They were standing waiting for the elevator now. Han kept pushing the 'up' button in nervous agitation.

"What was I supposed to take from it then?"

"I-don't get mad. You weren't _supposed_ to get mad. I'm just sayin' you've been quiet since we left the hangar. That's all."

_You hate me._

"So?"

Leia had never been comfortable with insecurities, she was allowing one of her stronger tactics to take over instead- anger.

The elevator doors opened. They were alone. When the doors closed shut, Han answered.

"So it's out of character. And I know something's bothering you."

"What exactly do you think is bothering me if you know me so well."

Han smirked ever so slightly. "I _do_ know you well." His smile brightened in pride, but then he paused and frowned again. He didn't want to be the one to bring it up. He thought he could goad it out of her. "I dunno. Things seemed kinda off between you and Lindsay."

_Lindsay. Of course he'd be thinking of her!_

"Lindsay. Of course you'd be thinking of her!"

Han's eyes lightened in recognition and a little bit of triumph. He shook his head and tried not to smile.

"Sweetheart, uh. Are you maybe, jealous of Lindsay?"

_Yes._

"No."

The elevators doors opened and they stepped into the hallway towards their apartment. It was so big, it took up half the floor. Waiting until he opened the door, Leia stepped inside and flicked on the lights. She turned to him.

"Why? Should I be jealous?"

Han looked indignant as he tossed his coat the ground. "What? No! Of course not!"

"Why bring it up then?"

"I just thought- well then what is the matter?"

_Ugh, he's got you there._

"Well maybe it is Lindsay a little." She had been by the closet near the front door to hang up her jacket then his. Now she stepped out of the foyer and into the living room. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the couch.

She looked down at her hands, but knew she had to be braver. Looking up into his eyes, she found the strength to say what she needed to in his brilliant hazel orbs.

"Did you like Lindsay?"

Han didn't answer right away. He was trying to form his words in the best way possible. He didn't want her misconstruing anything. Following her into the living room, he sat down beside her on the couch.

"I mean, she's nice."

_He's going to marry her!_

"But it was all business. The Falcon, flying, smuggling, the Falcon."

_Soul mates_.

"Till you got there, then she got a little funky."

_Well, of course. I interrupted her mating ritual._

"And then I thought she might have liked me a little too much."

_Always the charmer._

Leia was sitting looking at him with wide eyes, fearful of where the conversation might head.

"And I kinda liked it-"

_Oh, Gods!_

"But only cus you got this cute little scrunched up expression on your face and you looked real mad."

_Scrunched up?_

"I probably should have ended it there, but I was having too much fun watching you get all jealous and stuff. _Territorial._ But now, on the walk home and seeing you sitting here looking at me like you're afraid your head's gonna fall off, I don't think it was worth it."

_Here goes._

"What are you thinking, princess? You gotta give me something."

_I know someone who will give you more than something._

Leia sighed and peaked out the window, past the balcony and towards the setting sun. It was starting to darken and the sky looked beautiful. She turned her attention to look around the main room of the apartment. The dining room table and chair set that had never actually been eaten on. Paperwork, both his and hers were scattered across it. And it had been used for much more pleasurable purposes, so at least it had some worth.

She felt her face relax.

And the pictures hanging on the wall, on the mantle above the fireplace she never knew she had wanted, until the night it had been pouring rain and freezing outside. She had come home soaked and bothered after a long day to find the power out so she couldn't get any work done. After searching the kitchen and the bedroom, she had found Han sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, piles of blankets beneath him, and a picnic spread out across with a steaming cup of kaffe waiting for her.

Air was filling her lungs more regularly.

All of the pictures were of her and him, together. Of Luke and Chewie, and Chewie's family. A picture of the Falcon and of Alderaan- the one photo she had safeguarded of her and her father. A smile broke out across her face that she couldn't contain. Her fists unclenched.

This was their life together. It was just one room, but there were several more in the apartment and the Falcon that painted the same picture. She turned back towards the couch and the man sitting next to her. And here he was. They were living proof. The real thing was even better than the pictures.

Throwing her arms around him, she kissed him.

_I have nothing to worry about._

"I have nothing to worry about?"

Han looked confused, relieved, and alarmed all at once. "You have absolutely nothing to be worried about. Why do you even think that?"

Leia leaned into his embrace and kissed underneath his chin. "I don't know. I guess I just wasn't expecting it. And she was so similar to you with the pilot thing...normal. I just got worried that maybe you'd want a more normal life."

Han chuckled. "No offense, sweetheart, but my life wasn't normal before you or the kid entered it. You guys may have made it past the point of no return, but it's not like any lack of normality is your fault. Besides, we're normal. It's just our own version of normal. I like that better."

She felt a rush of love and gratitude flow through her.

_I love this man._

"Me too."

She was gazing up at him, completely lost in his eyes when he turned serious and pulled her out of his embrace. He held her hands and looked at her.

"Leia."

"Yes, Han?"

She was suddenly nervous again, but not nearly as much as before.

His face broke out into a huge smirk. She wanted to smack him. "What, Han?"

"I love you." She did smack him.

"I love you too, nerfherder."

Leia grabbed the side of his face and kissed him, deep and long. He was taken by surprise, but quickly recovered and reciprocated her eagerness. They stayed like that for a long while, holding each other close.

He broke away first.

"Leia?"

"Hmm?"

"You're sure we're ok? Everything's good?"

She looked him in the eyes and nodded affirmatively. No doubt evident in her voice or in her head or heart. "Absolutely."

"Good." He grinned. "I was thinkin' then. Before dinner, we've done the table thing and the couch. The floor." Leia raised one eyebrow. "How about we try the balcony next?"

She laughed out loud by the way he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She laughed harder because Han had probably been partly bluffing, never thinking she'd go for it. Turning to look back outside, she saw it was darker now. No one would see. Leia took his hand and pulled him up off the couch. Han stared at her with mouth open as she began to lead them towards the balcony.

_Oh yeah, hotshot. She definitely can't compete._


End file.
